


to want you and want you

by lurKINGaroundd



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 16:30:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20549222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lurKINGaroundd/pseuds/lurKINGaroundd
Summary: “Because I was here-” Michelle hiccuped. “Maybe I’d be just what he would need to think twice.”





	to want you and want you

“Why didn’t you warn him?” MJ spat the words. She wished to have delivered them with venom, but tears and more tears welled up and she simply wasn’t able to. 

These words only sounded sad, in the most pure form of sadness. The kind of sadness that could only ever be felt when losing someone.

Still, Michelle held her head up high for one more moment, staring at the older woman in front of her, and adding to melancholy came the rage. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

The woman scoffed softly, not in a malicious way, and MJ noticed how she was all too familiar with this expression.

“You- _ we _ know him better than anyone else.” The woman said. “It couldn’t be helped. He’s like a child. You tell him to do something, he’ll do another. You try to warn him about danger...”

“… and he’ll run towards it.” MJ finished the sentence. She had said that same sentence out loud so many times.

The rage went away as soon as it came. She was left with only despair, and with that she lost the tiny bit of strength that glued her feet to the ground.

MJ’s body collapsed, and she wished her mind had collapsed as well, instead she was wide awake. 

“I thought I could solve this somehow.” 

Smiling softly, the woman hummed as she got to her knees, getting a strand of hair out of MJ’s face. “Of course you did, you always do.”

“Because I was here-” Michelle hiccuped. “Maybe I’d be just what he would need to think twice.”

“It’s not your fault.” The woman declared, so caring. 

“I know.”

“No, you don’t.” She searched for MJ’s eyes, and when she found them, she continued. “It’ll take years for you to learn that. It’s not your fault.”

“So I’m weaker than I thought.” 

“No.” The woman disagreed once again. “You’re stronger, because right now you’re thinking about what will you make of your life without him.”

“It’s I fell into an into an abyss, and I’m left here all alone.”

“But I’m here. I’m here right in front of you, aren’t I?” Holding Michelle’s chin up, she made the girl find her eyes. “We survived.”

“How?” MJ asked.

“He never told us how to forget him. Peter only ever taught us how to want him, and want him.” The woman sighed. “And we- _ you’ll _ get lost in empty steps, and you’ll try to find his embraces in other people’s arms, and that’s okay.”__

_ _“You’re here, so you- _ we _ didn’t forget him.” Michelle said, in a weak whisper and since she was close, it was enough for the woman to hear.___ _

_ _ _ _“Yes, we didn’t, and that’s okay too.” The woman smiled, and it was the same kind of smile MJ could only ever see in her face when she was with him. “You only learned how to want him and want him, and wanting him, you’ll try to find yourself, and you did. I found you.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _“Is that why you’re here?” MJ questioned. “Not to change the past, only to find me?”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _A lonely tear fell down her eyes, and the older Michelle hugged the younger. “You need a hug, that’s all you need right now. A hug from the only person in this world who knows exaclty how you’re feeling.”_ _ _ _

_ _ _ _MJ cried desperately in her own arms. Arms that were more rigid and lived but were still hers. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _Before him, MJ only had herself. After him, she would only have herself too. _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _And that’s okay, that’s enough._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> (English is not my native language, so I apologize for any mistakes.)
> 
> Just a five hundred words drabble.


End file.
